This past summer our family suffered a tragic loss with the sudden passing of my daughter’s husband and my granddaughter’s father. Like a piercing knife I will never forget the call my daughter received. It came from a friend who was at the motorcycle accident scene and told us he didn’t…make it. The news arrived as we were greeting guests at a baby shower my daughter and I were hosting.
PEAKS AND VALLEYS
I’m watching my daughter and granddaughter go through peaks and valleys. The first valley was to organize and plan the funeral. For a young woman, this insurmountable task was a mixture of fear, obligation and emotion, followed by exhaustion. Similarly small peaks came when there was a lot of community, whereby family and friends rallied around each other for support and comfort, sharing memories, food and even a few laughs.
However, despite all this there are still many valleys. From weekly counseling sessions for both my daughter and granddaughter to donating and distributing his clothing and items. And finally, closing accounts and personal documents were just a few of the many things needed to be done for closure.
Six months in and the shock still lingers, the what if’s, the “if only I had done this” and the simple, why did this happen?
HOW DOES LIFE GO ON?
Who ever said life goes on? For many suffering grief, the daily task of even getting out of bed is difficult, if not impossible. Facing a birthday, holiday or family outing can cause emotional breakdown and heartache. Is there a new normal?
Today for my daughter and granddaughter (just 8 years old), the new normal is anything but normal. But despite all this loss there is hope! Hope that through the coming years tears will be reduced, activities will resume, laughter will fill rooms and broken hearts will mend. Personally it’s not a matter or when, rather a matter of how…do we pick up the pieces.
DECEMBER 2019: Elise with her mother Melissa, holding “daddy bear” compliments of Circle of Life Cremation and Burial Centre Inc.